


Poetry Collection

by louisovermyknee



Category: Literature - Fandom
Genre: Adulthood, Anorexia, Anxiety, Career, Childhood, Growing Up, Love, Other, Past Relationship(s), Poems, Poetry, Storytelling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-05 12:12:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1818043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louisovermyknee/pseuds/louisovermyknee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here is a collection of some of the poems I have written. Enjoy them at your leisure. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stages of the Silent Treatment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is how my best friend left me. To this day, he is as quiet as a mouse. Dec. 29th, 2013.

1.     You and me, we are best friends forever. Absolutely nothing can come between us. Even though our relationship is equivalent to a boyfriend and girlfriend, it wouldn’t come down to it because we are just good friends of the opposite sex.

2.     A disagreement comes between us. We argue for a good long while until we separate all together. In my mind, this is just a little bump in the road; but I am proved wrong by

3.     The next day, I walk over to you to apologize and you never open your mouth. I call myself and the argument stupid just hoping you would agree; but instead you are speechless.

4.     A week has passed and I call your house phone. Your mother answers the call and I ask for my best friend. She puts me on hold then in the background I hear the quiet sound of the voice I’ve been searching for. And it says “I don’t wanna talk to her”.

5.     The only time we see each other is at school. When you walk past me in the hallway, it’s just a passing glance with your mouth sealed shut.

6.     Whenever my new best friend mentions you, you are just somebody that I used to know.

7.     Years have passed and it’s graduation. You, my ex best friend, foots over to me with a yearbook and pen in hand. I sign yours while you sign mine, but we don’t need our voices to ask for an autograph. When I get my yearbook back, I look inside to find a phone number. But I don’t call it because I know there will be a mute on the other end.

8.     Decades later. High school reunion. We got assigned to the same damned table a voice, much deeper and groggy then I remember finally greets me. You talk about our long lost friendship. How we were best friends back then. You tell me how we used to like each other. You recall those times we used to send letters to each other that were equivalent to love notes. You call yourself and the argument stupid just hoping that I would agree. And I do; and I’m speechless.


	2. "Eat a Cheeseburger"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anorexia is not good. It's even worse when everyone around me thinks I have it. Dec. 29th, 2013.

When I was 12, I wrapped the measuring tape around my waist.

I was 25 ½ inches.

It was when a man came to the school and sat us down in the gym when I first heard the word “anorexic”. He got out his microphone and told everyone they were beautiful. He told us to never think of ourselves as ugly even though everyone else said we were.

 

When I was 15, I wrapped the measuring tape around my waist.

I was 26 inches.

A group of girls walked over to me at lunch and said I had skinny arms. I agreed. Then they asked me why I was so thin and barely had anything on my plate. I told them I wasn’t hungry. That’s when they called me an anorexic freak and left me to fend for myself with the calories I wasn’t counting.

The summer after my 16th birthday was when my best friends and I went to the mall. We had fun dressing ourselves up in clothes we’d never buy, but my friends couldn’t help but notice something as I stripped for the next dress. They were amazed by my hip bones. When I breathed in front of the mirror, we could see the outline of my ribcage.

They told me to eat a cheeseburger.

 

A month before my 17th birthday, my father looked down at me and told me I was skinny. He said that I wasn’t eating enough and that I had to fatten up. I got sick with the flu for 3 weeks.

I wrapped the measuring tape around my waist. I was 25 ½ inches and I lost 10 pounds.

 

On Christmas day, I tried my best to fill myself up to get back to normal. My family noted how slim I was and they questioned my metabolism. Whilst I ate, however, there was a little voice in the back of my head that I didn’t know was there. She told me I was ugly. She told me I was anorexic. She told me to eat a cheeseburger and she told me I was beautiful.

 

It’s my 17th birthday. I wrapped the measuring tape around my waist.

25 inches. Merry Christmas.


	3. Taking Bullets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I took a dump on how someone would be able to die to save the one they love. Aug. 10th, 2013.

It's amazing how you can save somebody and change their life forever.

 

A man is in front of my beloved with a gun in hand. There’s just enough time for me to jump forward and catch the bullet that is fired for my lover's heart. Sure, it'll hurt, but that's what love feels like. The man with the now emptied pistol runs away and my lover holds me in his arms as I make a bloody mess and he kisses me one last time before I die.

 

Now let's go back in time.

 

It's just a moment before the shot is fired and my beloved is standing right through the bullet's path. I remain still. I don't run. I don't jump. My lover is frozen. The gun is shot.

 

Very interesting.

 

I had enough time to save him when he had enough time to jump out of the way. It's funny, isn't it?


	4. Grow Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really don't wanna grow up. Date unknown.

My birthday is tomorrow.

I’ve grown another year.

Through all the high school drama

And all the shredded tears.

 

It seems like tomorrow

Everything will change;

But I’m so scared of growing old,

It’s like I’m locked up in a cage.

 

‘Cause I don’t wanna grow up, no.

I don’t wanna grow up.

Take me up to Neverland

‘Cause I don’t wanna grow up.

 

Let me live forever young.

Let me live forever.

Take me up to Neverland

‘Cause I don’t wanna grow up.


	5. Rememberable Grandfather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone can relate to the experience of a family member dying. RIP. Nov. 14th, 2013.

My grandpa is an old man. He is a nice and kind man, too. My mother calls him her father, but he is my grandpa. Me and grandpa do a lot of things together. He likes to take me to the store and buy me ice cream. Chocolate is my favorite, and he never forgets it.

Whenever I draw a picture, my grandpa is happy for me. I think he loves my drawings just like my mother does too. My grandpa has to go away at the end of the day. I am sad and I miss him, but it’s OK because I know I’ll see him another day.

One time, me and my mom went to the hospital. I saw a lot of doctors and nurses there. I saw my grandpa in a big white bed. He let me draw on the board on the wall. My grandpa and my mom talked for a while and then we had to go home without grandpa. We saw grandpa at the hospital every week. I drew on the board and talked to him. I wasn’t allowed to play with grandpa like before. We couldn’t get ice cream, either.

One day, I thought I would see grandpa again, but my mom sat down and talked to me. She said she had some really bad news. She started to cry. I wanted to cheer her up, but nothing I said would work. Mom told me grandpa died. What does that mean? I don’t really know. Mom made me wear a black suit and we went to church.

At the church, I saw my grandpa with his eyes closed. He was wearing a suit too and he was sleeping in a fancy box. Everybody was crying. My mom and my aunts cried. My uncles and cousins cried. Everyone was sad and I didn’t know what to do. So I cried too. I saw a big rock with words and letters on it. I didn’t know how to read, so I asked my mom to read it for me. She said my grandpa was buried there. My mom said we wouldn’t see grandpa for a very long time. She took me out for ice cream that day. The chocolate didn’t taste the same.

I haven’t seen my grandpa since. As I grew older, I found out what “dying” was. I don’t like that word at all. I married a girl and we had a daughter. Our daughter had children and I grew old. Their mom calls me her father, but I am their grandpa. I would play with my grandchildren. I loved the drawings they drew and I would take them out for ice cream as much as I could. My grandchildren love me and I love them.

One time, I had to stay at the hospital. My daughter and my grandchildren would visit me every week. I would let them draw on the board on the wall and they would talk to me. We weren’t allowed to play or get ice cream anymore. A few weeks later, I found out what dying was like. My grandchildren wore black clothes and I slept in a fancy box. After I went away, my grandchildren’s ice cream didn’t taste the same.

Chocolate was their favorite, and I never forgot it.


	6. Your Sweater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this one at 2 in the morning for my current lover.

Your scent.

That smell.

Warming touch.

 

Hugs,

and kisses.

There's just so much.

 

Sent from Heaven

up above,

all I know is

we're in love.


	7. Finding Yourself (With the Help of a Parent)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is for the ones forced to choose a career path at a young age.

Take your time, sweetheart.  
Look at all that you can be.  
Choose anyone that you may please,  
except for this one,  
and this one,  
and - god forbid - these.


	8. Calm.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written on the day I learned a valuable lesson on telling the truth. Dig yourself a hole, and you're going to get buried.

I've hit rock bottom.

Before though, I stumbled down the hole I dug myself into,

hit every single rock formation on the way down,

and once I got through 50 thousand yards of shit,

I landed on shards of glass.

 

I've gone past hysteria

as I've studied dust bunnies with twitching eyes.

And where I ended up was a mixture of guilt and acceptance

that pumped through my arteries like a social train wreck.

 

I've went so far beyond stress

that the emergency foundations of my brain

were the only things keeping me alive.

 

In fact, I was so calm

that you'd never understand.

 

And you will never understand.

 

Because you don't know what it's like to be me.


End file.
